The adventuresome life of a Great Pyrenees/Newfoundland dog in Northwestern Ontario

Archive for the ‘Dog Rants’ Category

Excuse Me?

We were just at the end of our ride to work this morning when we were stopped by the police. They were letting everyone else through the main intersection of town but us. So I stuck my head out of the window to give the young officer a talking to. He was being polite, so I’d be polite, too, but I would be firm. I had a job to do. Let us get to work, please.

The officer came over. “I’m sorry,” he said to my chauffeur. “You are going to be stopped for a while. The Prime Minister is coming through.”

My chauffeur agreed to wait.

I, on the other hand, gave the officer my best look of regal offence from the back seat. I willed him to understand, but it appeared he was not fluent in dog looks. I rumbled, We’re late for work. No one takes precedence over the Queen of the Boreal Forest. We must be allowed through!

Elizabeth understood me. “We have to wait, Stella. Sorry. Just wait and see, though. Maybe he’ll be riding his moose.”

What?

Oh. I see.

We remain disappointed.

 

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Turn that Noise OFF!

I think it’s weird how, after all the time I’ve spent in this family, they still don’t believe me when I tell them something strange and potentially dangerous is going on.

“WOOF! WOOF!”

“Oh Stella. Quiet. That’s just a train,” or, “Hush up, Stella. That’s just mom in the kitchen,” or today, “Ssssh! Stella, be quiet. That’s just a helicopter going over!”

Well, yes. It is just a helicopter going over. But it’s doing something dangerous. And it’s doing it over, and over, and over… “WOOF! WOOF!”

“Good grief!” says Elizabeth some time later. “Why does it sound like a war zone out there?”

Good question, two-legger. “WOOF! WOOF!” Here it comes again.

Finally, Elizabeth sees what I’ve been trying to tell her.

Go get your camera, two-legger! I want you to eat crow. Tell the world how I’m not an hysterical Great Newfenees after all.

Elizabeth mumbles something and, finally, does what I tell her. As she’s setting up the camera for the shot, she comments, “Looks like we have some new well-heeled neighbours moving in, Stella.”

Well-heeled? Whatever it is, doesn't look like it has much choice! I tell you, you'd never get me on a leash way up there like that!

Well-heeled? Whatever it is, doesn’t look like it has much choice! I tell you, you’d never get me on a leash way up there like that!

Downton Kenora: Episode 4: Going Back

I hope you don’t find today’s episode boring. I warned the Scribe that you might. She doesn’t listen very well. [Kind of like someone else we know?]

Today, we’re heading back in our guided tour, back from The Foyer and into the first room off The Gallery (I’ll show you that later), back into what I say is

soooo last season!

soooo last season!

The Christmas Room.

I think they should call it the Winter Room. I know I would find that more interesting. Bring some snow in and make it genuinely wintry. Now that has potential! Instead, B&E (that’s Bonnie and Elizabeth, not break and enter!) have done this as a compromise:

Not a real tree. Just a painting of snow. They are beautiful paintings by local artists, but still not the real thing...

Not a real tree. Just a painting of snow. They are beautiful paintings by local artists but, still, not the real thing…

After taking this picture, the Scribe got a little fed up with my attitude. I guess I can’t blame her. She works hard to make things look nice, and her goal is not to achieve real winter. She says I can go outside and experience that. I can have all I want of it when we get home. “Show some spirit, Stella!” she said.

“We aren’t even open yet.”

Then she got an idea. I hate it when Elizabeth gets ideas.

“Why don’t you take a photo?” Not a good idea at all. Look what happens:

I really did take this photo. I stepped on the remote. "Wait!" cried the Scribe, "We need to move that box first..." Too late.

I really did take this photo. I stepped on the remote. “Wait!” cried the Scribe, “We need to move that box first…” Too late.

I went back outside – not Outside into Winter. Just outside the Christmas Room. It’s too small for both of us.

Elizabeth took another picture from two-legger viewpoint. Just so all the other dogs who read this can see what's up on top of the table.

Elizabeth took another picture from two-legger viewpoint. Just so all the other dogs who read this can see what’s up on top of the table.

Look, another lesser Black Cawing Flapper! He’s not real, either. Neither is the Snowman.

One last corner and we’re done:

The cards and books and other interesting little Christmassy/wintry things.

The cards and books and other interesting little Christmassy/wintry things.

Oh! And there’s the Christmas Wreath hiding in the corner. Elizabeth says she’d better get that bagged and stored ’til next Christmas.

That’s today’s tour. Just one great big tease, if you ask me (today’s supposed to be my day off to play in the snow).

 

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